I hated myself, but I was too close to notice
A number of years before I entered recovery I knew I was an alcoholic, but it was a good excuse to keep drinking. When I did decide to stop it was for the wrong reasons, selfish reasons. I desired recovery but never got it because my motives for obtaining it were simply self-preservation.
Finally when I reached rock-bottom and became tired of living a lie, of pretending to be someone I was not God was there, waiting. I had lost all hope of recovery but decided to give God a try.
I entered The Bridge Programme and have never looked back. My life today is dramatically different: I had a negative self-image: I hated myself but was too close to me to know it or to do anything about it on my own. I was insecure: I had a fear of abandonment, that know could or would ever love me. I have overcome this fear. Today I am secure in Christ, enjoying daily relationship with Him.
For all of us self-discipline must prevail if we are to face up to our failures, admit defeat and correct our faults. Rather than living a lie or pretending to be fine when we are not we need to be honest with God, with ourselves and with others.