My life at the moment is pretty much caught up in other peoples agendas. And, as a follower of Jesus I try as best I can to ‘go with the flow.’ But sometimes it’s difficult.
When others agendas change and you find you have wasted a lot of effort on things that no longer matter, (at least I learned some new skills) it’s hard to grin and bare it. And, with some of their agenda changes I get angry. When I get angry I find myself asking God “what am I angry about?”
One of those changes of agenda happened recently. And I confess I have been carrying a bit of anger, hurt, disappointment because of it.
Now I don’t know about you but in my make up when I get angry, hurt and disappointed my first reaction is usually ‘ATTACK’ ‘GET EVEN’ ‘HURT THEM.’ Glad to say I didn’t: I stopped, I prayed and I began reading the Bible, asking God to give me something to help me through the anger, hurt and disappointment. To change my attitude and my heart and show me what to do.
He led me here:John 5:30 I am able to do nothing from Myself independently, of My own accord—but only as I am taught by God and as I get His orders. Even as I hear, I judge I decide as I am bidden to decide. As the voice comes to Me, so I give a decision, and My judgment is right just, righteous, because I do not seek or consult My own will I have no desire to do what is pleasing to Myself, My own aim, My own purpose but only the will and pleasure of the Father Who sent Me.
Thank You Lord, for helping me understand “I can do nothing on my own.” “I need to wait on You to decide what is next.” I need to trust that as well as having my best interests at heart, You also have the best interests of others. Help me today to patiently wait on your next plan for my agenda. Amen