2016 Day 72

Step One: I admit that my life is a mess and I am out of control.

I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up.

I read the above scripture in Romans 7 today and I relate so much to it. Pre-recovery I new what I needed to do, I knew the things that were destroying my life and chose to keep doing them. I knew that I needed help, so I went to rehab and commenced attending A.A. and Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings. I decided I was going to change and failed dismally. My relationships. my work and my worth all fell apart and I knew there was something wrong with me, I wasn’t like everyone else.

Time and time I tried and time and time I failed. And then I decided to do whatever I needed to do to change my attitudes, actions, beliefs and choices.

On making that decision God led me to a Christ-Centred Recovery program, The Salvation Army Bridge Program. Where I learned what it meant to follow Jesus and live for Him and because of that decision, today (26 years later) – I’ve been changed


%d bloggers like this: